i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
