Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
