i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
