I wanna bring you to show and tell
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
