Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
