i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
