I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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