It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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