she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
