My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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