dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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