Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
