I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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