That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
