left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
