Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize