Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
