Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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