Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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