Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
