I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
