It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
