I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
