You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
