Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize