like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
