he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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