i think i have two assholes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Randomize