i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
