hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
