i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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