Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
