I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
