Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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