You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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