i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
