My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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