It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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