i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize