My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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