Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
