Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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