there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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