Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
