i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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