I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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