dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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