So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize