I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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