I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
