i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
His nipple licking is glorious
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