i was born a porn star she said
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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