Life is so much better after having sex.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
