lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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