Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize