i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
