That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
