so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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